18 Flowers
by puRpLebLuSh017
Summary: Of Thornless Roses: Despite the witty banter, the molesting part, and the groping, it was love at first sight. sasusaku oneshots. Slightly Crack.
1. Buttercup: Childishness

**Insert Standard Disclaimer**

**NOTE:** This is a collection of one-shots. Therefore, each chapter is not interconnected with one another and can stand alone.

_Enjoy!_

* * *

**Juhachi Furawa**

_Written by Purpleblush017_

**Flower 01: Buttercup**

* * *

_Childishness_

* * *

"Sakura-chan, Sasu-kun, the TV's on now!"

Uchiha Mikoto's voice echoed the large Uchiha household. She happily placed a tray of her freshly baked Chocolate chip cookies on the table and adjusted the two bean bags beside it. There was a huge flat screen TV that was a feet away from the table. She smiled to herself as she heard the quick pitter-patter of footsteps that were coming closer and closer.

Thump.

"Miko-chan!" a young woman greeted, panting as she entered the living room. Her pink hair was slightly messy and her red dress was covered in dirt. Her high forehead, glowing red in color. Despite that, her green eyes were full of life. "Did it already start?" she asked hurriedly, putting away her slippers on one side and taking her seat on one of the bean bags.

"No, it hasn't started yet, Sakura-chan." Mikoto assured the girl. Sakura let out a sigh of relief upon hearing so. The older woman eyed her carefully, "Is that a bump on your forehead, Sakura-chan?"

Sakura's candle-like fingers instinctively touched said forehead, "Is it that bad?"

Miko-chan, Mikoto's preferred pet name Sakura calls her, looked worried. "What happened? Did Sasu-kun hit you?"

As if on queue, said boy entered the living room.

"That's really great, the mother suspicious of her own child," his hand went through his raven hair, brushing it upwards. His blue clothes and white khaki shorts shown no sign of dirt. His deep mysterious eyes gleamed in annoyance. "Sakura tripped and fell face first."

The only adult in the room gasped, "Sakura-chan, you were running in the hallways again?"

"But Miko-chan!" Sakura started, "It's Spongebob! Who misses an episode of Spongebob Squarepants!?"

Sasuke gracefully sat down on the carpeted floor, his left leg tucked under his right. He grabbed a cookie from the tray. "I do."

Sakura gave a quick glare at him and an indignant 'hmph' before crossing her arms. "Aside from brooding boys like Sasuke-kun?"

Here they go again.

Miko-chan sighed and pats Sakura's pink bundle of hair. "Still, Sakura-chan, no running. You don't want that pretty face of yours slamming on the cold hard cement just because you want to see some talking sponge and some back-sassing sea creatures do their antics, do you?"

"Miko-chan!" Sakura yelled, looking scandalized. "Spongebob and Patrick and Squidwarb and Gary and Sandy and Mr. Crabs and Pearl and Mrs. Puff and Plankton and Larry and those jellyfishes and those other unimportant fish extras are funny! They brighten up the whole world! They paint my life colorful! They teach magical stuff! And—"

"Ugh," Miko-chan played with the hem of her pink apron. Sakura had a habit of getting far off the point when she started rambling. Sure she's cute and all, but when she started opening that mouth of hers—it spells disaster. "That's all great that you think that way. But you're missing the point here. No running in the hallways. Not just in the hallways but no running everywhere too."

"But Miko-chan—!"

Miko-chan gave a stern look. "No running. Period. Or I'm going to tell your father."

Sakura's mouth hung open. "No way! Not overprotective daddy!"

The black-haired woman tucked her hair behind her ear and glanced at his son who was watching their amusing argument with a smirk. "And no playtime with Sasu-kun too."

Sakura slumped on the bean bag in defeat and pouted. "I'll settle for the cookies then."

Uchiha Mikoto smiled sweetly as she stood up heading for the kitchen, triumph evident on her face.

As she left, the famous and Sakura's most awaited opening theme song rolled in.

* * *

_Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?_

_  
((Spongebob! Squarepants!))_

_  
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he?_

_  
((Spongebob! Squarepants!))_

_  
Whose nautical nonsense is something you wish?_

_  
((Spongebob! Squarepants!))_

_  
So drop on the deck and flop like a fish!_

_  
((Spongebob! Squarepants!))_

_  
Ready?_

_  
Spongebob! Squarepants!_

_  
Spongebob! Squarepants!_

_  
Spongebob! Squarepants!_

_  
SPONGEBOB... SQUAREPANTS!!_

* * *

Haruno Sakura laughed while watching the television.

She giggled like crazy.

She giggled while munching that chocolate-chip goodness, some dangling on the corner of her lips. Some diving out of her mouth.

She glowed in happiness.

Bloomed in real beauty.

Her features highlighted by the colorful light coming from the Television.

She was magically tantalizing.

Enthralling. Captivating.

So beautiful.

She. Her laughter.

Everything.

Everything of her.

Everything in her.

Haruno Sakura watched Spongebob, giggling in blissful delight.

While Sasuke,

With an unbitten cookie on one hand,

Was watching her wholeheartedly,

A blush creeping on his cheeks.

So completely spell-bound by her.

Her laughter.

Was sweet melody to his ears.

* * *

"Marry me."

Sakura stared at him as if she just saw a ghost, her face paler than the usual. "Huh!?" she blinked twice.

"Marry me." Sasuke repeated, getting annoyed with the redundancy. And her dumbfounded face. Didn't she know she looked ridiculous like that? Her green eyes as wide as saucers, her mouth widely ajar.

But then, he was the one proposing, or was it demanding, to her. Didn't he look ridiculous as well?

After a few minutes of contemplation, Sakura was finally able to make proper use of her vocal cords. "Sasuke-kun! We're only twelve!" she stopped, "No, wait," another realization hit her. "I'm only twelve! You're still eleven!" she shrieked in horror.

Sasuke grabbed another cookie and broke it in half before putting one piece inside his mouth. "It doesn't matter. Age doesn't matter."

Sakura blushed. Being the darling that she was, she's the biggest tomboy there is in school. Never had she imagined that dear best friend Sasuke-kun like her that way—as in like-_like_, besides he had yet shown any interest in the female species, much less did she expect him to propose to her.

"Er, are you in love with me or something?" she asked him, anticipating his answer.

The Uchiha nibbled on his cookie, savoring the taste of chocolate in his mouth. "I like your laugh. Enough to want to hear it everyday for the rest of my life."

"Eh? My…laugh?" her pink eyebrows were knitted in confusion.

Sasuke eyed the tray of cookies, oblivious to her, there was only one more left. Taking advantage of her distracted state, he took the cookie and ate it. "So, marry me." he was able to say in between mouthfuls.

Moments passed by, after drinking water to down in all the chocolate chip goodness down their throats, Sakura began to laugh, totally out of nowhere.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun," she said, his name rolling out of her tongue like honey. "Marriage is all about love. And fun. And happiness. Lots of cooking. And excitement. And more love!"

Sasuke raised an elegant eyebrow, "So?" he held his glass tighter. "Marry me."

There was another set of laughter that escaped her lips.

Laughter which caught Sasuke high. Taking in her voice like a drug.

"You're crazy, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura said, still laughing. "All I ever wanted to marry is Spongebob!"

The glass he was holding almost slipped his hands. "What!? You're willing to choose a stupid hole-full sponge over me?" there was disbelief in his voice.

Because really, who would dump him? Have you seen his pretty face? His glamorous posture? His charming persona? The sexy chicken chair? And the alluring onyx eyes? 'Cause if you _have_ taken notice of those, there wouldn't be any reason as to why you'd be dumping him.

Really.

Sakura stood up and approached him. She took his free hand on hers, another hand of hers on top. Looking from their hands to his face, she locked eyes with him. Emerald orbs staring directly in onyx pools.

Then her eyes twinkled, and shinned and burned like a thousand tenfold.

"Would you be my Spongebob?"

* * *

"_Be a yellow dufus!? No way!"_

"_Okay, be Patrick then, I love Patrick as much as I love Spongebob!"_

"_He's pink, Sakura! He's a freaking pink starfish!"_

"_Tch. Fine. Be Squidward then, you grumpy wench!"_

* * *

NEXT SHOT!

Tulips: The Perfect Lover.


	2. Tulips: The Perfect Lover

**Flower 02: Tulips**

* * *

_Perfect Lover_

* * *

Nara Shikamaru huffed, a mumble escaping his lips which sounded like 'troublesome' and proceeded on with the main agenda.

"Kids," he faced them with great determination. "we have a problem."

* * *

"Great entrance, Sasuke-kun!"

"Hn."

"Pretending to catch up with me like a very _unsuspicious _coincidence," Sakura elaborated as she flipped her pink tresses which reached her shoulder and continued to walk. "that's very original!"

Beloved hear throb of Konoha and the hottest not to mention richest bachelor, Uchiha Sasuke gracefully snorted as response and trailed after her, walking in small steps to go with his companion's pace. "We're going to the same meeting." He said as a matter of fact.

Haruno Sakura considered the thought for a while before she shook her head. "The meeting started an hour ago." She explained. "And _you_—Uchiha Sasuke is not one for tardiness," she paused, "unless you secretly worship Kakashi-sensei." She pointed out the stacks of folder she carried. "At least I had a valid reason. But you, I don't think so. So pray tell what your reason is." She stopped to glance at him. "Before I start to think that you were personally waiting for me as your own attempt for romance."

He bored his eyes on her for a moment and said: "Hn."

She smiled, suppressing her frustration in his subtle answer. If dear ego-boy didn't want to discuss this matter out in the open, then, she'd just have to let the matter go _for the time being_. There was still time to exploit him. Besides, it was a far too good day to waste her energy on berating him on his mono-syllabic language. That was _so_ last season. Instead, she smiled more brightly and started walking again.

"I'm going to translate that as a 'yes'. Any complaints, sweetie?"

Because her heart was always a foot far from her brain.

* * *

"So, to sum things up, we have to come up with a 'fundraiser' this upcoming festival, which is like, _hm_, let me see, _two days from now_ for the _drawing_ of Kakashi-sensei's face on the mountain!?"

Shikamaru scratched his head and ear. "Yes, Naruto. That's about it. Thank you for that wonderful redundancy." He looked at familiar faces who in return were avoiding his direction for they knew what was coming next. "Any suggestions?"

* * *

"How was your weekend, Sasuke-kun?" she tried to squeeze _at least_ something out of him. "How was your mission? Good? Bad? Sour? Sweet? Bitter? Erotic—"

He frowned. "Sakura," she had always wondered why her name sounded so heavenly on his lips. "Shut up."

And was she obedient?

She pouted. "No way."

* * *

There was silence for the next few minutes—which composed of people avoiding Shikamaru's way and some who were making faces pretending to look like they were thinking but was secretly waiting for someone to break the ice—

until Naruto's hand was raised up in thin air.

* * *

"If I fall right now, would you catch me?" she asked innocently. "Just out of curiosity."

He paused on his track and glared at her back as she took another step up on the stairs. "That's ridiculous."

She stopped as well, turned around to face him and laughed. "I am approximately seven steps higher, Sasuke-kun. There is a 23 percent chance that I might slip regardless of my awesome chakra manipulation and kick-ass strength. Because, _oh_, I don't know, you call me clumsy, right?"

Even if he denied it, he was on high alert. "That'll be idiocy."

She shook her head. "That's not the question, Sasuke-kun. I'm asking whether or not you're willing to cushion my fall may it be from a thirty-story building or this mere seven elevated steps between us."

He snorted and looked away. "Don't ask questions that you already know the answer."

She raised her eyebrow as form of mockery. "Really? If I know the answer, then why would I be asking in the first place?"

"Because you're Sakura. You manipulate people as a form of habit."

"I think you're describing yourself." She closed her eyes and breathed "I guess I have to find out the answer for myself, right?" She turned around, her back facing him. Her stacks of folders dropped on the ground with a loud noise as she took the big leap of faith and curiosity.

And she landed on a soft, warm and manly-scented body of Sasuke-kun, his hands enveloped around her.

"Don't do that again," he warned in a tense voice. "you _annoying_ woman."

She grinned. "Oh, I love you too."

* * *

"_You _do know that you could be sued for this, right? Because you'll be violating the law."

Uzumaki Naruto thought for a second before nodding.

"It's illegal." Shikamaru repeated.

The blonde-haired man nodded.

"You could be _demoted_, you know, if not _banished_ from this village." He said, emphasizing each word. "Like _Simba—_as in Lion King—lost, hungry and all _hakunamatata_ in the jungle."

Naruto gave a sly smile. "Just trust me, Shikamaru!"

The Nara man slumped. Why did he felt like it was the hardest thing to do?

* * *

Her hand was on the door handle when he called her.

"Thank you."

She looked thoughtful. "I knew there was some hidden motive the moment you walked towards me." she put her index finger on her chin. "Now, what would the great Uchiha-_god-like_-Sasuke-kun thank me for? _Hm_?"

Irritated that it was going to come out of his mouth, "Tomatoes," he said it nonetheless. "just like every year."

"Next time, buy me a present for my birthday too okay? Then we're even." She reached onto the door handle when he interrupted her again.

"And for last week." He said.

She searched her memory bank and snapped her fingers. "_Oh_! You mean that time when I nursed your poor sick soul from a fever?"

"…hn."

She gave a bright toothy smile. "I'm such a girlfriend material, aren't I?"

Sasuke smirked at that statement.

* * *

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto greeted happily but stopped short when he saw the man trailing after her. "Teme!" he looked at them suspiciously. "What're you doing coming here together? You're not going to tell me that you shagged each other and—"

Sakura back-slapped him. "I'm from the hospital, you dope!" she put down her folders on the table and pointed Sasuke who sat beside her. "And this fellow was just coincidentally at the right time and the right place."

Naruto crossed his hands. "That's what they always say."

Sasuke coughed. "This _is _a meeting we're in, right?"

* * *

Konoha festival.

Whisper. Whisper.

"Hey, forehead,"

"Pig,"

"So, what's with this fundraiser you're doing?" the long blonde-haired woman brooded as she stared at the incredibly and suspiciously well-designed stage in front of them. Not to mention the crowd of men who lingered around, waiting for the start of the program. "Shikamaru won't tell me a thing!"

Sakura pulled her uncomfortable micro-mini-skirt lower to cover her bare legs. "If you're trying to squeeze something from me, it won't work. I don't know a thing too." She wore her long black jacket to cover the spaghetti strap blouse she was wearing. "They just told me wear what I'm wearing right now."

Ino frowned at her jacket. She instantly pulled the zipper down which revealed Sakura's blouse. She scanned her up and down and whistled. "And here I thought you were going to go full-time tomboy. Whoever picked those clothes is a miracle worker!" she moved closer to her. "Hey, will you lend me those adorable shoes tomorrow?"

Sakura's curled pink hair seemed to magically float in thin air as she laughed. "Oh, shut up."

There was a loud screeching noise that suddenly burst.

"Look! It's starting!" one yelled and then the crowd of men instantly surrounded the stage.

Uzumaki Naruto appeared on the stage wearing an orange suit and held a microphone one hand. It was a good thing that the event was conducted at night or Naruto's glimmering feverishly colored suit would've been a serious eyesore. "So, this is all you've been waiting for, gents! The time of your life!" Naruto excitedly said.

Ino smiled. "That moron, exaggerating things."

"Now let me call in Haruno Sakura to the stage please!" Naruto's voice rung in the area.

Sakura felt a push. "What!? Ino?" she looked past her as Ino swiftly removed the black jacket she was just wearing and pushed her harder towards the stage.

"Go, forehead!" Ino encouraged as she successfully delivered her to the spotlight and raised a thumbs up at her. Sakura felt naked with the loss of clothe and glared at her so-called best friend with a matching mutt of a 'You are so dead, you conniving pig!' before she sat on the chair as Naruto a.k.a. the host of the night instructed her to.

Naruto grinned, patted Sakura's pink tresses and moved on to his speech. "As you all know, this is Haruno Sakura. She's not only a gorgeous hot babe but also the apprentice of the fifth hokage. You may have read her profile on the 'Icha icha Paradise special issue: The hottest women of Konoha today'—"

Was it published right behind her back? Sakura glared harder this time at her teammate and obnoxious friend, Naruto. Why did it seem like the friends she had were turning their back on her?

"—but let me just make a few points on her. She's loyal. Like some sick puppy that'll follow you wherever you go. Through thick and thin, she'll be there for you. She's patient and kind. Though PMSing days are an exemption. Watch out for that! She can dislocate your face anytime, anywhere! She understands to a point that she'll give up everything for you. She'll even appreciate the smallest thing you've accomplished. She cares deeply too. It's a sure thing that there'll be an apple-peeling session when you wake up from the hospital. Aside from her sexy body—yes people, size thirty-four cup B! She's a wild cat if you know what button to press."

What was this? Some kind of slam book day?

"So all in all, she's _desirable_! Do you agree?"

The crowd yelled 'YEAH'.

Naruto smiled. "That said, how much would you pay to experience a once-in-a-lifetime chance to hook up with this hot goddess?"

Sakura's eyes widened. "Say what!?"

From the crowd, Lee raised his hand. "For my youthful flower, I shall bid a hundred bucks for a chance!"

One protested. "Fat chance, testicle boy! I'll bid one-fifty!"

Another came. "Two hundred!"

Kiba joined in. "Three hundred!"

Kankuro was there for fun too. "Four hundred!"

"Five hundred!" Shino called. He received a stare from Kiba. "I have money too, you know."

Kankuro raised his hand again. "Five-fifty! This is for Gaara!"

Temari piped in. "Five-seventy-five!" she stuck out her tongue at her brother. "I have to give Gaara a gift too."

"Cheapskate." Kankuro breathed.

Lee didn't give up. "Six hundred and twenty bucks!"

Some was not about to be outdone by others. "Seven hundred!" Genma bid.

Sai was oblivious to what was happening but decided to blend in. "Eight hundred!"

Neji had to protect his ego too. "One thousand!"

Sakura was at loss. What was going on here? People bidding on her? Wasn't this human trafficking? As far as her readings went, this was punishable by the law. She was about to complain and demand an explanation when a new bid stopped her short.

"One hundred thousand!" Sasuke coolly said.

Out of fun and gamble, Kakashi raised his hand. "Two hundred thousand."

Sasuke cursed underneath his breath and bid again. "Five hundred—" he paused and changed his mind when he saw Hyuga smirking at him. "One million." Thank god he was stinking filthy rich that he could bathe in money if he wanted to.

There was a moment of peace and tranquility before Naruto grinned knowingly and said: "Going once, going twice, SOLD!"

* * *

She looked at him, a smug plastered on her face. "Pinch me, I must be dreaming."

He grabbed her hand and dragged her somewhere dark and secluded. "I paid one million bucks for you so don't go fan-girling on me and show me what you've got."

She felt intimidated. "Like what? I've got a lot of things _on_ and _in _me, you know."

"You have a lifetime to show me both."

She smiled as she inched closer. "That long, huh?"

* * *

"_Hey, this means you're confessing to me in your Sasuke-romantic style, right?"_

"_Put your tongue back in my mouth or—"_

"_Let's not get hasty on restoring the clan, lover boy—MMPPPPFFF!"_

* * *

**NEXT SHOT!**

Spider Sunflower:

"Elope with me."


	3. Spider Sunflower: Elope with Me

**Flower 03: Spider Sunflower**

* * *

_Elope with me_

* * *

Haruno Sakura glared daggers, kunais, scalpels and anything of the like—preferably pointy and highly dangerous—at him.

_How dare he!_

And the bastard had the gal to smirk! She mentally tugged her long pink hair in frustration. Her hand automatically searched the soft cushion beside her for any object she can throw at him to erase that smug—ugh—smirk plastered on his oh-so-pretty face. Oh, her aggravated state was even amusing him. Oh, just great.

_How dare he!_

Upon realizing that there weren't anything she can use to wipe his face off with, she clicked her tongue and tried to resort on vocal mockery—something he was master at. After running hundreds of lines she could use to purposely step and stomp on his highly bloated ego in her head, she reached a decision.

"You—!" she stopped short as he made his way, cutting her off.

_How dare he!_

"Sasuke-kun," she started firmly, prying his hands away from her waist. "you do not turn Dora The Explorer off _just _like that!" she made a furious face—something she haven't mastered yet for Sasuke was totally unaffected and was instead heartily entertained. "It's like cutting down dessert! And you do know that it's the most important part of the meal! Imagine a world without Kit Kat! Or Butterfinger! Or Snickers! It'll be the end of the world!"

There was that spark in his eyes—that same spark which lead them under the covers, tangled in each other's limbs. "Dora had made her point long time ago," he whispered against her ear, pulling her captive body closer.

"Yeah?" she caught her breath. Her previous anger suddenly diminished as she felt light-headed at their close proximity. After all, this was still Uchiha Sasuke, the man who had managed to stir some unexplainable urge in her. "What's that?"

His slender fingers traced her bare shoulder, slipping her shirt downwards. "The art of adventure." He rubbed his cheek on hers. His hands roamed all over her body as he breathed, "Now, let me explore you."

She closed her eyes and contemplated. "One condition,"

"Name it."

She pulled away, enough for him to see her bright sweet smile. "I top tonight."

* * *

It was no secret that they were together—living together at that. No. Not even the fact that they'd want to do each other when they come in contact within a mile away. "My virgin eyes! Get a room, _please_!" Naruto's—_the_ best friend—desperate girlish cry for help was even proof of that.

But here's the catch, it wasn't a secret to anyone.

_Except_ Sakura's family. Specifically Daddy Haruno who still thinks that her daughter was still as pure as a new born baby.

So, imagine this situation: Sakura's grouchy and vicious father standing in front of her doorstep as an attempt for a surprise visit. And when the ring of the doorbell was left ignored, a loud knock and a firm voice echoed. "Honey, it's Daddy. Open up."

Eyes shot wide open—the sleepiness and exhaustion from last night's events were swept away by that wake up call. "Oh shit!"

Now that you've imagined it, watch it unfold.

"Shit! _Shit_! _SHIT_!"

Sasuke rubbed his temples. "Stop cursing, woman. It's damn annoying." He said as he caught sight of his pants and swiftly put them on. All that was left was his shirt. Now, where did she throw the damn thing again last night?

Sakura quickly buttoned her three-forth sleeve shirt, not bothering with the fact that she was not wearing a brassier. "Stop complaining," She looked under the king-sized bed. When she didn't find her black shorts, she shot a glare at her lover. "More dressing." She turned to the clock which read: 7:37 a.m. "Shit!" she ran towards the bathroom and turned the shower on. "Wait a minute, daddy!" she called from the shower room and lightly ran back to the master's bed room.

She panicked when she didn't see the raven haired man there. She went to the small kitchen. She frowned and went to check the living area and found Cokotoo (yes, that's her darling's pet name) looking for God-knows-what underneath the brown sofa. With a shushed voice, she complained. "What're you doing here?"

He gave her an 'are-you-crazy' look. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

She stomped her bare foot on the carpeted marble floor. Yes. Because they live in a very elegant apartment—courtesy of Sasuke's deep pockets. "As much as I love to ogle at your naked body, go poke your head somewhere else!" she huffed.

Sighing, Sasuke gathered himself up and slouched on the very comfortable (and very expensive) couch. "Why don't we just tell your old man?" he started, earning a soft gasp from her. "You're not eight. You're legally old enough to be doing this kind of things."

"Are you crazy!?" she choked. "My daddy's poor heart will bleed! You can't have his death on me, you know!" She looked outside the window and grinned. "Remember what you said about Dora?"

Sasuke grunted. This was_ so_ not happening!

She pulled him by the arm and pointed at the fire exit just outside their (another expensive) window. She patted him on the back for encouragement. "Now go help yourself to another adventure!"

* * *

Uchiha Sasuke had never been humiliated before. Okay, so there maybe a few times, courtesy of his spunky blonde suppose-to-be friend and that damnated lover of his. But never had he swallowed his pride _this_ hard. Add the fact that his past humiliations at least contained a shirt to cover his upper torso and socks to warm his feet.

He winced as he felt the morning wind come in contact with him. As he was slowly walking down the untrustworthy fire exit steel ladder, he was greeted by a few stares of the morning people on the opposite building who happened to be in front of their window at the right time.

He grimaced at the sight of Gaara's unwavering stare. He felt so violated. He almost gagged at Sai's amused smile, thumbs up at him and a mouthed 'Nice body'. He was even disturbed at an old man's (was that Orochimaru?) seductive wink at him. But what topped it off were the blurry shadows which were moving towards his building. And those shadows—he knew whom belonged. Panicked and nowhere to go, (they were living on the tenth floor and Sakura managed to lock the window securely) he simply stood still.

In the back of Sasuke's mind, he was chanting:

_Swiper no swipey!_

_Swiper no swipey!_

_SWIPER NO SWIPEY!_

* * *

She stopped on her tracks.

Oh. My. God!

She gasped and tugged her companion's arm. She pointed somewhere along their right. "Itachi, dear, my eyes seem to be playing tricks on me. Pray tell, is that…?"

The man followed her gaze and grinned.

"Oh, that devilish hot-blooded almost-naked man standing stiff on the fire exit _is_ your beloved son, mother."

_Oh man!_

* * *

"Daddy!" she opened the door and hugged the tall lean man who wore a suit, standing on her doorstep.

He furrowed his eyebrows, "I thought you were in the shower, sweetie. How come your hair is dry?" he questioned as they entered the apartment.

_Oh crud!_

"I didn't wet my hair, daddy." She explained (lied). "Just my body."

Daddy dearest was eyeing the place closely, checking everything—from the small knickknacks decorated in the room to the paintings and the elegant floor design. "Your apartment is too nice, honey." He turned to her for a moment. "How did you manage to buy all this stuff with your, what do you call it, _lousy_ pay?" he ran his hand on the sea-shell sequenced part of the wall. "You're not doing something illegal, are you?"

Sakura looked thoughtful. She should have known she overdid it with the spenditure of things inside her—_their_—abode but Sasuke's unlimited credit card was just plain heaven that she couldn't stop. She made a mental note to cancel the order she made the other day. "Define illegal," her answer earned a glare from her father.

"Like selling your you-know-what to your patients."

She pursed her lips. "No, daddy. They don't allow interns to do that. Maybe when I get to have my own office." His receiving end was thin with patience. He growled in response. Sakura smiled. "Just kidding, daddy! You know I wouldn't do that."

Her daddy's face relaxed. He smiled his wrinkles and lines showing at the same time. "That's my girl."

The pink haired woman shifted, rubbing one foot on the soft carpet. "I'll fix you something, alright?" the guest nodded in response and she chirped to the kitchen, looking for anything edible inside their T.V. slash refrigerator (she's just got to have one of those). Out of ear shot, daddy went to the bedroom, hoping to find something that was out of place.

If there was one moment where all the trouble came pouring down like a hurling storm, for Sakura, it was that time.

Cursing, Sakura shut the refrigerator. She took one card list and a wireless phone. "Daddy! How about take out? Do you like pizza? Or Chinese?" she turned and took a few steps and was met by—

"Sakura-chan! Look who I found outside!" a mature and sexy Itachi came up to face her, pointing at the brooding Sasuke who happened to be on a no-shirt day. "You lovebirds had trouble in paradise?"

Out of shock, she managed to drop the phone she was holding—the same phone she wouldn't even let a scratch on. "Itachi-san! What're you doing—" she screeched but was toned down when she saw the third person. "Oh, hi, Mikoto-san!" the mother was obviously not happy on seeing her precious baby boy out in the open without proper clothing. Sakura tucked her hair behind her ear, a habit she does whenever she's nervous. "How are you today?"

"Sakura!" the voice roared in anger. He popped out of the bedroom. "What is—" and upon seeing the new comers, with a pink and blue checkered boxers in his hand, Daddy reiterated his question. "Whose is this?"

All heads turned to the sweating and pressured Sakura, waiting for an answer. She bit her cheek and sighed. She was so doomed! Well, to hell with it. She regained composure. "It's Sasuke's, daddy."

Daddy raised an eyebrow at the two other men in the perimeter. He turned to the long-haired, more decent and more reliable-looking man. "Oh dear god, please tell me you're Sasuke."

Itachi pointed at himself and grinned. "For you, I can be."

Shiver. Shiver.

"I'm Sasuke, sir." Daddy's dreaded day came as the no-shirt wearing man took the fall. He scanned him up and down, up and down. And again.

Sakura cleared her throat and clarified. "He's gay."

And fall the almighty did.

* * *

"I hate you, you know that?"

He closed his eyes. "Yes. I've heard you the first thirty times."

"Well, I'm glad you understand it loud and clear." She touched the railings of her balcony. "Oh god, I can't believe I'm grounded! I feel like I'm seven." She slumped.

He tried to inch closer but was still waiting for the perfect timing. "I thought Dora and those other cartoons you watch daily made that clear enough."

She grunted. "I still hate you, you know." She turned to him. "My daddy said your mom's punch stung him hard. Can you swindle her into teaching me how to do that as well?"

Sasuke frowned. "You are not going to use me to learn that and hit that baker who gives you the cold bread."

She managed to worm her way into his arms in a second. "We'll see." She snuggled. "Anyhow, the way you climbed into my balcony was rather Romeo-like, isn't it? Getting fond of Shakespeare, aren't we? Should I be saying my Juliet line now?"

"Sakura—"

She shook her head. "But you know, why you couldn't play the gay part was something beyond any reason."

"Sakura—"

"_Ugh_!" her frustration was now back. "If you just—just acted _convincingly_ gay enough!"

"Sakura—"

"Why couldn't you pull that stick out of your ass just once? It could've saved me—yes, and you—from our current situation. Then, there'll be no house arrest and we'll still be living together, and every night we'll—"

"Elope with me."

"Sur—_What_!?" she stared at him as he looked the other way, a blush creeping on his face. "I didn't catch that. What did you just ask me?"

"I don't like repeating myself."

"Then why?" she eye him suspiciously. "Did my father hit you hard during your last meeting that you can't properly think right now?"

He snaked his arms around her. "I simply can not stand another night without your snore." He smirked as he burrowed his face on her strawberry-scented locks. "It's music to my ears."

She playfully punched him in the shoulder. "I do not snore, you ungrateful lover!" she said deniably.

His hold tightened. "I will not let your father stop me." he looked serious. "Do not wait for the time that I'll barge in and kidnap you." She gasped. "Because I will if I have to."

She smiled and started drawing hearts on his chest using her index finger. "Wow. Impressive. You even have plan B." she smiled. "But then, there'll be no point asking me either way."

He leaned in and said: "Now, where's your Dora spirit?"

* * *

**A/N:** I got carried away._ Tehee_. I Luff Itachi.

* * *

**NEXT SHOT!**

Thornless Rose:

Love at first sight


	4. Thornless Rose: Love at First Sight

**Flower 04: Thornless Rose

* * *

**

_Love at First Sight

* * *

_

There were times that Uchiha Sasuke wondered as to how he landed himself an outgoing, friendly, happy-go-lucky, totally opposite of him, hopelessly ignorant _friend._ The same friend who insisted on driving his car wherein despite of protests ended up holding the steering wheel. The same friend who decided to crash his Volvo on a hard cemented wall because he simply wanted to skip class. Because of said incident, they ended up in a hospital. Sasuke had a fractured leg while the friend only accumulated few cuts and bruises.

"_I didn't do it on purpose! It was an accident!"_

Maybe life was meant to be unfair. But _why_, Sasuke wondered as he stared at his friend's very blue eyes, _why did they become friends_? Yes. Why indeed?

"_I'm so sorry! Please don't kill me!"_

"Naruto," he said with a smooth voice, keeping his calm. "you're an idiot." He finished as he exhaled.

All Sasuke wanted to do was walk up to him and strangle him to death. Lucky for Naruto, his cock-a-doodle-doo haired friend can't walk.

"There's always a silver lining, dude!" Uzumaki Naruto grinned haughtily. "Believe it!"

If only looks could kill, Naruto would've been long dead.

* * *

"How are you feeling?"

The question was simple. Can be answered by many alternative adjectives he can come up with his super-genius brain. But lo and behold, as he opened his eyes, two striking things processed into his brain.

One, the question wasn't for him to answer. And since the room he was in only consisted of two patients that could only mean it was for his dumb friend he calls Naruto.

Two, said person who asked the question turned out to be a… girl. Just disregard the striking hair color. Since when did that moron friend of his inhibited the capability to converse normally to the opposite gender? Still hazy from the pain killers the meds had given him, Sasuke concluded that it must have been his imagination. It had to be. Because if there would be a decent woman who would come and jump on the great dorky Naruto, the world sure was running towards its end.

The next moment, they were laughing—pure unadulterated laughter. And then, she sang.

"_You're my hunny bun, sugar plum, pumpy upmy upmy upmkin. You're my sweetie pie._

_You're my cuppy cake, gumdrop, shyummkums pure, the apple of my eye!_

_And I love you so, and I want you to know that I'll always be right here._

_And I love to sing this song to you _

_  
Because you. Are. SO. dear!"_

Another set of laughter. Their laughter made its way to his ears as bitter sarcasm for the incapacitated. And laughter he couldn't inhale. This happiness was suffocating him. Didn't they see his broken leg?!

Sasuke sat up straight. "Oi,"

Naruto and the supposed-to-be imaginary pink-headed woman turned their heads towards him. "Oh, grumpy-face, awake now—?" Being aware and conscious of Sasuke's mood swings, tactless snide comments, and that 'if-a-glare-could-kill-I'm-already-dead', Naruto would take it as nothing. Because he was so used to—immune to it. But one fact didn't go unnoticed.

Uchiha Sasuke was directly looking at his bubble-gum haired friend as he said:

"You're annoying,"

Surprised yet totally aware of his eyes burning as he bore it at hers, "Oh," she smiled as her cheeks started to paint red. Does he know how hot he is? "I love you too."

Where's that silver lining now?

* * *

The Gods up in wherever they are must be having the time of their lives picking on him. For various reasons, Sasuke found himself frowning at his current disposition in life. One, that weasel in disguise of a brother already made his life as difficult as the word could explain ever since he opened his eyes to the world. Two, if having an annoying someone in his household wasn't enough to piss him off, they just had to had _bless_ him with an exasperating not to mention stupid friend. And lastly, his fractured leg and scathed beauty. Add the fact that he would be staying in the hospital while that blonde dope of an excuse for a friend was discharged earlier.

"Don't worry Sasuke-teme! I'll visit you every single day!" Naruto promised before he left the room they had shared for half a day.

Which all in the end felt rather ridiculous because he really didn't believe in God in the first place.

"Don't," Sasuke answered. He knew he couldn't guarantee his best friends safety the moment he do see him again.

* * *

"Upsy daisy, _sweetheart_!" she beamed at him. "Time for your check-up." She said.

Great.

His nurse turned out to be _that _woman—the one with the pink hair and that awfully bad singing voice. _Haruno Sakura_, her nameplate stated. Sasuke sneered as he sat up straight. "Don't call me sweetheart," he vehemently commanded.

But the demonic aura he sent didn't seem to work on her. Evil seemed to bounce away from her. "Oh," she cooed. "all grouchy and cranky already? It's not yet even eight." She sat on the bedside and smiled at him. "But I like it. You're just the man I need to complete my life."]

Uchiha Sasuke rolled his eyes. Another fan girl she appeared to be. Where do they come from and why do the increase in number?

"Everything seems to be normal," she tilted her head, brought out a ruler and tugged his blanket away from him. Thanks to his instinctive reflex, oh the years living with Itachi taught him well, he was able to pry her hand. She gave a puppy look. Both of them knew he only had his boxers on. "I think it's about time we learn how big of a man you are and put in on file." She waved the ruler back and forth. "Don't you think so too, sweetheart?" Sasuke snorted under his breath. "Let go of the blanket and no one will get hurt."

He gave an icy glare. "This is invasion of privacy."

"It doesn't matter. You'll fall deeply in love with me, utter cheesy and corny stuff in your own unique attempt to romance me, marry me, and give me dozens of your children in the future anyway." She stated just like how one plus one would always be two.

What caught his eye was that same pair of inhumanely bright green, green eyes of her which oddly enough looked exactly the same pair he dreamt about.

"I'll scream." He threatened. She might've added something on his dextrose for he would poke his eyes a thousand tenfold before he would even dare say it.

She laughed out loud. That same annoying laugh that rang inside his head every now and then. "Scream all you want, sweetheart. I like playing it rough." She uttered it seductively in between a purr and a sheepish smile. With that, he knew he had lost.

Moments later, she was all over him screaming: "I am officially in love with you now!"

He only grunted in response.

* * *

She came every breakfast, lunch, and supper to check up on him. Sasuke had actually become paranoid. Every time the door swung open, he feels a strong urge to crawl towards the window and jump for it. One time his beloved nurse had free time, she would scoot over, lie beside him, her feet safely tucked underneath the cover. Not that Sasuke forgot to complain, it was just bad enough that he couldn't walk.

She reached for the remote control and switched the channel. She breathed a sigh of relief when her favorite soap opera hadn't rolled in yet.

"You actually watch this shit?" he pondered loudly, out of curiosity. Because really, she was a nurse and her profession demanded a healthy body and a sound mind.

She kicked his unfractured foot in retribution. "Love," she started, "makes the world go round."

Typical girly answer.

"That's what you think."

Sakura looked at her newly polished finger nails before contemplating his answer. "What does then?"

"Power. Money." He was so full of himself. "Men."

She swept her hair back and rested her head on his shoulder. "Don't worry." She knew Sasuke was a huge chauvinist and she wasn't in the mood to discuss things he would surely be amused about. After all, she liked his annoyed yet _very_ sexy and cute look on his face. "You _will_ love me. I'm a little rough around the edges. Give me time."

When the drama series she dearly anticipated started up until when the credits rolled in, Sasuke was oblivious to the world. His attention was focused on the light weight on his shoulder, her steady breathing, and the faint smell of watermelon.

* * *

"Sweetheart," he learned a few days ago that she had the knack to give nicknames to her designated patients which he was unfortunately part of. "say 'aah'!" she held a stick of a small peeled apple, gesturing it to his sealed mouth.

And the door swung open.

"Yes Sasu-bunch, heed the pretty lady and let her _blow_ you away." A smooth manly voice echoed the room. Sasuke's eyes widened at his unwelcome visitor.

How dare he spray all his innuendos and malicious words at him like that in front of a stranger? But this was his conniving older brother. The same brother who conned him to do things for his own amusement and set him up along the lines of disaster and mayhem. "Itachi,"

The bearer of the name smiled_ that_ naught smile of his at his nurse. "I'm this fool's older brother." he took her hand, "Uchiha Itachi," and brushed his lips on her fingertip. "pleasure." He seductively purred.

Sasuke grabbed an apple and threw it at his sibling. Respect and family be damned.

* * *

"You have molested me, fawned, groped, and now _this_!?" Sasuke screeched as he wiggled his feet free from her clutches even though the sudden movement stung his fracture. "Leave me some dignity, woman!"

Sakura hissed under her breath, concentrating. "Stop wiggling, _damnit_!" she cursed and slapped his feet. "See! It's on your skin now!" she crudely said, erasing the smudge she made.

Uchiha Sasuke couldn't remember how and why he stopped retaliating. He guessed the strong smell of nail polish got the better of him. He exclusively felt high or something because Sakura didn't have a halo, right? His nose itched as he stared at his shiny newly painted toe nails.

Pink was definitely not his color.

* * *

When he opened his eyes, he could feel the heavy weigh on the side of his upper torso. It took him a few minutes to realize the situation. "Get off me, woman!" he began, nudging her. "_Get off_!" It was dangerous enough that he could feel her soft and _very_ round breast on his arm.

She stirred and stood up straight. "You ingrate. You slept with a high fever yesterday." She scratched her eyes. "I watched over you all night and gave you my body heat." She yawned. "And this is how you repay me? Some gentlemen you turned out to be."

His body itched to drag her back for the sudden vastly lost body warmth that lingered within him. Not that she needed to know that. He held his control with an iron grip. "_Get out_!"

She slipped out of his bed, winked at him before closing the door behind her.

Oh God, he needed a really cold shower.

* * *

She slumped beside him, drawing circles on his arm, sighing for the umpth time. His fine brow shot high in interest. Trust this woman to be always up for something.

"So," she started, heaving another sigh. Her eyebrows were knitted together, her lips were slanted as if she's having difficulty in choosing the proper words to convey her thoughts. "this isn't working."

She accidentally tapped his fractured leg. He wondered why it didn't hurt at all. "What is _this_?" he asked. He was no fan of charades and puzzles. Women are complicated creatures. That much he understood.

She took in another sigh like an old lady in her deathbed would. "_Us_," she stared at his deep obsidian orbs as if peering through his soul. "_Us_ is not working, Sasuke-kun."

The way his name rolled out of her sweet cheery lips felt like the next best thing from heaven. Oh God, how he wanted to hear her say his name again and again and again—

"We need to break up." She said every word slowly, making it clear enough to go through his thick skull.

A little part of Sasuke, faint but it exists, wondered as to why he felt a pang of hurt after he heard her words considering there really was no 'us' nor 'we' nor a relationship except that of a patient and a nurse.

The next day, he was discharged from the hospital.

* * *

After three grueling long weeks of sleepless night, numerous trips to the bar, and unproductive days, he was finally waste.

"Dude, your nails are like, _pink_." Naruto said in disbelief. As if his companion didn't hear him, he added more emphasis. "It's _freaking _pink!" when the person he was supposedly conversing with didn't give him a reply, he stepped back a little. "Warn me if you're going to start asking for comfort sex or something. That's why prostitutes are invented."

Sasuke thought hard before he spoke. It was standard procedure that he weighs the pros and cons of his plan a hundred times before considering performing it. He shook his head. It doesn't matter. Logic, in the end, is just a bunch of complicated words.

It was now or never. "You." He swung his fist and landed it hard on Naruto's face.

With a hand on the throbbing cheek, he yelled: "What the hell, _you bastard_! You _dick_!" Sasuke's punch stung like hell. "Are you high?"

"Hit me. _Hard_."

His _supposedly_ best friend's serious face accompanied by a serious tone alarmed him. Was his cock-a-doodle-doo friend finally cracked? "Oh God, you really are gay!" he yelped before receiving another firm smack on the face.

* * *

She was shocked and aghast.

He came with bruises and blood all over while demanding her as his private nurse, hovering the poor girl at the front lobby.

"You crazy, fool, stubborn—!" her cheeks were red with anger. His smug smirk irritated her more. "Is this a unique way of torturing me? You…" she breathed, "YOU—"

Even though she might've used him as a past time in this boring world of medicine and healing, the things and actions he showed and did to him, it was all real.

"Love makes the world go round."

Sakura felt her lung cease working.

* * *

"_I got you good, didn't I?"_

"_Returning to your glory days?"_

"_Why shouldn't I be? I got you to fall in love with me!"_

"…_hn."_

"_You wanna hold me, you wanna touch me, you wanna kiss me—MMPPFF!"_

"…"

"_You horny bastard! Came back here! I want more!"_

* * *

**NEXT SHOT!**

Fern:

Magic.

"_Stop believing all women want a prince charming riding on a white horse, Sasuke-kun. Because I don't."_


End file.
